WOW! Summer went amazingly fast! Although I didn't really get to enjoy a summer break--mostly MCAT, summer class, research and volunteering, I definitely felt more productive than usual. Medical Anthropology was incredibly fascinating despite the fact that we were presented with difficult and depressing discourses around medicine and the science hegemony. For a period of time, I really felt my classmates and I were depressed and disappointed in our global leaders and social institutions. Overall, it forced us to become critical of the hegemony by science and equality in medical care. I still can't believe how much readings we went through per day and the lack of sleep we endured! Basic Musicianship was definitely informative; since I have always wanted to study music theory and acquire some form of musical background, this class was very enjoyable. MCAT classes, believe it or not was entertaining to the max!! Science nerdiness was all over the place with jokes about the exam questions and material. It was a lot of fun and I think I will really miss it. :( Research was great because I spent more time bonding with some lab mates. Two of them have left for home after graduation and our goodbyes. Watching and bidding them farewell has really brought me to the reality that I am going into my fourth and last year and UC Berkeley. Although I was worried in my 1st year that life at UC Berkeley was never going to end, I am honestly a little bit nostalgic of the my lower division years.
Thursday August 26, 2010, today is the beginning of the Fall 2010 semester. I've promised myself to work hard this last school year--learn lots (and retain the information by spacing and regularly studying), study for the MCATs, work on social development and volunteering. I have realized that over the course of three years I have really been increasingly slacking off. Being on a semester system gives you more room for procrastination and feels like a safety blanket but honestly cramming is not something I should continue doing. Even though I am almost 21 years old, I can already feel the slow deterioration of my brain--longer to memorize information, worse retention of information, increasing forgetfulness. This is likely contributed by lack of sleep or just that its cramming overworks and kills my brain cells. Either way, I am ready to buckle up and work hard this school year. I want to end my last year hear with fireworks and great memories. So here's to a brand new start!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Something Borrowed, Something Blue but most definitely something about Love
contains spoilers to Something Borrowed and Something Blue by Emily Giffin
During this past weekend, I spend the entire time reading frantically instead of studying for my medical anthropology class midterm, which is TOMORROW! Ironically, my age is inversely related to my maturity, or at least in terms of controlling my procrastination. I know that I am really screwed; but somehow after having read two sentimental books, all I can feel right now is a sense of heaviness in my heart. Probably a yearning to hear more about the futures awaiting for the characters in the books, Darcy/Ethan (Something Blue) and Rachel/Dex (Something Borrowed) or just a desire to one day be able to feel or experience true love as they did.
Inspite of how sure I want to go to medical school and in becoming a doctor, I have always had insecurities about my absent love life--unbeknown to most of my friends except for my roommate and also best friend. Truth be told, I have never been in a relationship or fallen in love. Now that I have already reached twenty-years old, and having watched all of my friends become engrossed in their relationships, I have can't help but feel a tinge of envy. I hate that word because it is synonymous to jealousy, which is a such an ugly and embarrassing emotion. It makes me sad because I do not know what is wrong with me. In the past I have succumbed to conclusions that I am not attractive enough for men to approach me, even to just talk, or maybe I give off a sense of protectiveness (for myself) or lack of confidence; while I have made the effort to transition into a more social and benevolent person, by joining a social club on campus, (Sigh) nothing much has changed. Sometimes I think I am in dire need of a life-coach or therapist to help me get out of this depressing ditch.
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Anyways, back to the two books I read this weekend: Something Borrowed and its sequel, Something Blue by Emily Giffin. Although I loved the first one, I adored the sequel more after reading about Darcy's revelation and then determination to become a better person and mother. Rachel and Dex's story was touching because it really proved that when there is love between two people, there's really not much we can do to stop our emotions from changing us. In Something Borrowed, Rachel was always the more moral, play-it-safe kind of girl whereas her best friend Darcy was the competitive, demanding and often shallow one. I couldn't help but cheer for Rachel, despite her affair-like relationship with Dex, who was engaged to Darcy. I think deep down she knew that she loved and wanted Dex, but despite it all she was still willing to sacrifice her own feelings to play the best friend role for Darcy. I felt great admiration for her continued acceptance of her maid-of-honor role in Darcy and Dex's expectant wedding ceremony. It was unfair for her, but it was what was right, she never wanted to separate or be a burden in her best friend's relationship, which was something that, in my opinion, Darcy never completely realized, until the end of Something Blue. Dex sometime at the end, came off as being a jerk but also noble. Conflicting me to decide whether I approved of him or not. A jerk because he told Rachel that he was unable to leave Darcy and yet he still wanted to see her... and brave because he eventually did call off the wedding because he could no longer neglect his feelings for Rachel and be in loveless marriage with Darcy. So I am happy that Rachel and Dex ended up together and I appreciated the ending as much as did for that in Something Blue.
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I loved loved reading Something Blue, because I really wanted to hear Darcy's side of the story; and also because I believe no one is completely evil without reason, going back to John Locke's view of human nature vs. Thomas Hobbes'. I think in the end, I understood why she was so shallow and competitive with Rachel. In many ways, she was envious of Rachel's intelligence, sense of compassion and family. Darcy grew up in a family where the important of appearances was reinforced by her mother and father's relationship and the one thing she did have, was her beauty. In a way, her shallow acquisitions were merely a mask for her emotional emptiness. To put candidly, I don't think she had loved anyone, simply because of them instead of loving them for loving her back, until Ethan came along. Okay, maybe Darcy loved Dex, because they had been in a seven year relationship and she was probably touched that Dex, like Ethan, accepted her flaws--to some degree or least tried to. I don't think she was nearly as bad of a person as was projected in the first novel because Dex once loved her, and I believe he knew what he was doing, for the most part.
Although in the beginning of Something Blue I continued to detest Darcy's vengeful and selfish actions targeted at Rachel and Dex's infidelity, she really did turn around after Ethan's declaration of her problems and flaws in being a friend and person. I have to admit, despite Ethan being on Rachel's side, he did, though reluctantly, let Darcy stay with him in London knowing that she was going to be a handful. By doing so, he proved to be a really good friend, understanding that the story is not always black and white. I was touched that Darcy sought to change herself so quickly the next day--after their argument, by cleaning Ethan's apartment , drinking "decaffeinated coffee" (because caffeine was bad for the baby) and going in search of a charitable job. I think these were all big steps taken on her part to transform herself. Eventually she visited an OB/GYN, stopped her vicarious shopping sprees, complaining and prying. Although I was disappointed that she accepted Dr. Geoffrey Moore (British version of Dex )at first and their future lives together, I was excited that she acknowledged something was not right in their relationship--which she did not evaluate in her relationship with Dex. When Darcy finally realized that she loved Ethan, after the miscarriage scare during Valentine's Day, I was ecstatic! This lead to a blossoming sweet, innocent and unacknowledged courtship between Ethan and her that was so touching, especially after she told Ethan that she broke up with Geoffrey. It goes without saying that Ethan, at this point, knew Darcy had changed, dropping appearance matters, and possibly loved him. In the end, by naming her twin boys, Thomas Ethan and John Noel, Ethan's middle name, Darcy showed how important Ethan was to her. Subconsciously, Ethan whispers "'I love you,Darcy'" and then, "'I love all three of you,'" accepting them despite not being the twin's biological father. Proving they were a family despite genetics and marriage. Ethan probably was starting to uncover his feelings, and then finally broke off his relationship with Sondrine (whom I never really liked because she seemed snobby and condescending based on the descriptions by Darcy).
Ethan and Darcy's last scene, their stoll in Holland park was beautiful. It was made very clear that he loved her for who she was, la naturale, as he inhaled Darcy's orange citrus scent, implying later that he loves it. Although Emily does not describe the aftermath of that day's reunion and blossoming reunion, I can imagine that their first real kiss was delicate yet cringing on desire--since he had snuck his hand in her shirt (in a public park!). They loved each other for so long and could finally have each other after dropping their burdening relationships with Sondrine and Geoffrey. I bet they made satiating love when they got back to Ethan's apartment. If only Emily had described that because the last half of the book had nearly no sex, compared to Darcy's sex adventures with Marcus, at the beginning of the book. Anyways, that's my only complaint.
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Eventually two years later, Ethan and Darcy marry. Darcy described Ethan's romantic and unexpected proposal to her in the hills of Scotland. Amazing! I think it was really unexpected for her. His silent proposal of "Will you marry me" written on the back of her fifth's dating proposal (to Ethan) was adorable. And finally when he snapped a picture of their engagement on the hills, I couldn't help but cry knowing how long their journey up to this point was. Ultimately, it reminded of me of what I wanted in my future partner. Ethan cherished his time with Darcy, or in wider terms, he cherished living and enjoying every little moment, that's why he takes so many pictures. I think this story reconfirms my personal instincts in liking a person based on their actions, personality, self instead of shallow appearances, as long as he is not hard on the eyes (I think that's the right phrase).
That is the end. I just wanted to put down all my thoughts, hoping it will help me focus on studying. I am sure that I will never forget these four character's, Darcy, Ethan, Rachel, Dex, tangled romances and relationships and how I wish for their eternal happiness and possibly another sequel that shows the rebuilding of Darcy and Rachel's friendship. In my opinion, it was not resolved in Something Blue, only that both now knew that true friendships and true love are what identify and shape our existence on this earth; and are the most important qualities in any marriage. For love may or may not soften in a long-term marriage but the loving friendship is what helps two people grow old together.
Peace and love always,
Jenny
During this past weekend, I spend the entire time reading frantically instead of studying for my medical anthropology class midterm, which is TOMORROW! Ironically, my age is inversely related to my maturity, or at least in terms of controlling my procrastination. I know that I am really screwed; but somehow after having read two sentimental books, all I can feel right now is a sense of heaviness in my heart. Probably a yearning to hear more about the futures awaiting for the characters in the books, Darcy/Ethan (Something Blue) and Rachel/Dex (Something Borrowed) or just a desire to one day be able to feel or experience true love as they did.
Inspite of how sure I want to go to medical school and in becoming a doctor, I have always had insecurities about my absent love life--unbeknown to most of my friends except for my roommate and also best friend. Truth be told, I have never been in a relationship or fallen in love. Now that I have already reached twenty-years old, and having watched all of my friends become engrossed in their relationships, I have can't help but feel a tinge of envy. I hate that word because it is synonymous to jealousy, which is a such an ugly and embarrassing emotion. It makes me sad because I do not know what is wrong with me. In the past I have succumbed to conclusions that I am not attractive enough for men to approach me, even to just talk, or maybe I give off a sense of protectiveness (for myself) or lack of confidence; while I have made the effort to transition into a more social and benevolent person, by joining a social club on campus, (Sigh) nothing much has changed. Sometimes I think I am in dire need of a life-coach or therapist to help me get out of this depressing ditch.
----------------------------------------------------
Anyways, back to the two books I read this weekend: Something Borrowed and its sequel, Something Blue by Emily Giffin. Although I loved the first one, I adored the sequel more after reading about Darcy's revelation and then determination to become a better person and mother. Rachel and Dex's story was touching because it really proved that when there is love between two people, there's really not much we can do to stop our emotions from changing us. In Something Borrowed, Rachel was always the more moral, play-it-safe kind of girl whereas her best friend Darcy was the competitive, demanding and often shallow one. I couldn't help but cheer for Rachel, despite her affair-like relationship with Dex, who was engaged to Darcy. I think deep down she knew that she loved and wanted Dex, but despite it all she was still willing to sacrifice her own feelings to play the best friend role for Darcy. I felt great admiration for her continued acceptance of her maid-of-honor role in Darcy and Dex's expectant wedding ceremony. It was unfair for her, but it was what was right, she never wanted to separate or be a burden in her best friend's relationship, which was something that, in my opinion, Darcy never completely realized, until the end of Something Blue. Dex sometime at the end, came off as being a jerk but also noble. Conflicting me to decide whether I approved of him or not. A jerk because he told Rachel that he was unable to leave Darcy and yet he still wanted to see her... and brave because he eventually did call off the wedding because he could no longer neglect his feelings for Rachel and be in loveless marriage with Darcy. So I am happy that Rachel and Dex ended up together and I appreciated the ending as much as did for that in Something Blue.
-------------------------------------------------------------
I loved loved reading Something Blue, because I really wanted to hear Darcy's side of the story; and also because I believe no one is completely evil without reason, going back to John Locke's view of human nature vs. Thomas Hobbes'. I think in the end, I understood why she was so shallow and competitive with Rachel. In many ways, she was envious of Rachel's intelligence, sense of compassion and family. Darcy grew up in a family where the important of appearances was reinforced by her mother and father's relationship and the one thing she did have, was her beauty. In a way, her shallow acquisitions were merely a mask for her emotional emptiness. To put candidly, I don't think she had loved anyone, simply because of them instead of loving them for loving her back, until Ethan came along. Okay, maybe Darcy loved Dex, because they had been in a seven year relationship and she was probably touched that Dex, like Ethan, accepted her flaws--to some degree or least tried to. I don't think she was nearly as bad of a person as was projected in the first novel because Dex once loved her, and I believe he knew what he was doing, for the most part.
Although in the beginning of Something Blue I continued to detest Darcy's vengeful and selfish actions targeted at Rachel and Dex's infidelity, she really did turn around after Ethan's declaration of her problems and flaws in being a friend and person. I have to admit, despite Ethan being on Rachel's side, he did, though reluctantly, let Darcy stay with him in London knowing that she was going to be a handful. By doing so, he proved to be a really good friend, understanding that the story is not always black and white. I was touched that Darcy sought to change herself so quickly the next day--after their argument, by cleaning Ethan's apartment , drinking "decaffeinated coffee" (because caffeine was bad for the baby) and going in search of a charitable job. I think these were all big steps taken on her part to transform herself. Eventually she visited an OB/GYN, stopped her vicarious shopping sprees, complaining and prying. Although I was disappointed that she accepted Dr. Geoffrey Moore (British version of Dex )at first and their future lives together, I was excited that she acknowledged something was not right in their relationship--which she did not evaluate in her relationship with Dex. When Darcy finally realized that she loved Ethan, after the miscarriage scare during Valentine's Day, I was ecstatic! This lead to a blossoming sweet, innocent and unacknowledged courtship between Ethan and her that was so touching, especially after she told Ethan that she broke up with Geoffrey. It goes without saying that Ethan, at this point, knew Darcy had changed, dropping appearance matters, and possibly loved him. In the end, by naming her twin boys, Thomas Ethan and John Noel, Ethan's middle name, Darcy showed how important Ethan was to her. Subconsciously, Ethan whispers "'I love you,Darcy'" and then, "'I love all three of you,'" accepting them despite not being the twin's biological father. Proving they were a family despite genetics and marriage. Ethan probably was starting to uncover his feelings, and then finally broke off his relationship with Sondrine (whom I never really liked because she seemed snobby and condescending based on the descriptions by Darcy).
Ethan and Darcy's last scene, their stoll in Holland park was beautiful. It was made very clear that he loved her for who she was, la naturale, as he inhaled Darcy's orange citrus scent, implying later that he loves it. Although Emily does not describe the aftermath of that day's reunion and blossoming reunion, I can imagine that their first real kiss was delicate yet cringing on desire--since he had snuck his hand in her shirt (in a public park!). They loved each other for so long and could finally have each other after dropping their burdening relationships with Sondrine and Geoffrey. I bet they made satiating love when they got back to Ethan's apartment. If only Emily had described that because the last half of the book had nearly no sex, compared to Darcy's sex adventures with Marcus, at the beginning of the book. Anyways, that's my only complaint.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Eventually two years later, Ethan and Darcy marry. Darcy described Ethan's romantic and unexpected proposal to her in the hills of Scotland. Amazing! I think it was really unexpected for her. His silent proposal of "Will you marry me" written on the back of her fifth's dating proposal (to Ethan) was adorable. And finally when he snapped a picture of their engagement on the hills, I couldn't help but cry knowing how long their journey up to this point was. Ultimately, it reminded of me of what I wanted in my future partner. Ethan cherished his time with Darcy, or in wider terms, he cherished living and enjoying every little moment, that's why he takes so many pictures. I think this story reconfirms my personal instincts in liking a person based on their actions, personality, self instead of shallow appearances, as long as he is not hard on the eyes (I think that's the right phrase).
That is the end. I just wanted to put down all my thoughts, hoping it will help me focus on studying. I am sure that I will never forget these four character's, Darcy, Ethan, Rachel, Dex, tangled romances and relationships and how I wish for their eternal happiness and possibly another sequel that shows the rebuilding of Darcy and Rachel's friendship. In my opinion, it was not resolved in Something Blue, only that both now knew that true friendships and true love are what identify and shape our existence on this earth; and are the most important qualities in any marriage. For love may or may not soften in a long-term marriage but the loving friendship is what helps two people grow old together.
Peace and love always,
Jenny
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